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Parents less influential forming values
Published September 19, 2009
I was “raised” in saloons, and my parents didn’t even realize it. Had it dawned on them, they would have been taken aback. They were tee-totalers.
From age eight through graduation from high school, by way of television, I was in the Long Branch Saloon every week. Adult westerns like “Gunsmoke” and “The Life and Legend of Wyatt Earp” made their debut on TV in 1955. I was 8 years old.
Their successes inspired other shows, and soon 30 westerns were weekly fare on TV. We watched a wagonload of them.
Some shows were saloon centered. In the 617 episodes of “Gunsmoke,” Matt Dillon, the marshal of 1873 Dodge City, Kan., and his deputy Chester (later, Festus), and his companion Doc Adams, the town doctor whose pastime was chugging beers at the Long Branch, discussed slugs and thugs at the saloon. Contributing to their conversations was the saloon owner, the pretty Kitty Russell. In the smoky “headquarters,” decisions were made concerning what to do about bad guys. Matt and the boys left the saloon to go deal with them, and then Matt reported back to Kitty. He told her how they disposed of the sorry varmints. Also, in the saloon, Matt tied loose ends together to flesh out the story.
I liked Matt and Kitty, observing them through adolescent eyes. Matt was a brawny, thoughtful sheriff who always wanted to do the right thing by people. Kitty was supportive of him, and she shared Matt’s passion for law and order. Matt unceasingly and heroically risked his life to preserve the well-being of the townspeople. I quietly hoped that Kitty didn’t entertain men in the rooms upstairs and that she and Matt weren’t being intimate. I gave them the benefit of the doubt.
The shows were good for me because the “good guys” always won and the “bad guys” always lost. Viewers rooted for the good guys, and we were happy to see the bad guys slaughtered or jailed.
In my day, parents spent more time with their children than did TV shows or movies, and they could depend on the programs to teach values similar to those of the majority of viewing families. Today, rather, it is helter skelter.
And I’ve learned through counseling preadolescents and adolescents that parents have become less influential in the forming of life’s values in children, while TV shows, the movies, video rentals, lyrics, the Internet, peers and other influences have increased in influence. Parents now can’t afford to be like my parents and not become aware that their kids are being raised in “saloons.”
Parents with strong values who want to impart those values to their children should think twice about loaning their kids’ minds to contrary influences. Why sit your children in front of the TV and allow sin to be demonstrated to them, or send them to movies that oppose your family values, or buy games that simulate murder, or allow Internet low lifers to have access to your children? Why not monitor your children’s phones so that you can know if predatory adults or wrong-crowd kids are pulling your children toward them … away from you?
More parents than ever exclaim to me, “How did this happen? My child has been under a lousy influence for six months, and I saw no clue! Our child isn’t the same person anymore!”
In the way of prevention, what can parents do?
First, keep your children close to you. Keep it usual and natural that you help them choose what they view, who phones or texts them, what games they play and where they go on the Internet.
Second, don’t allow anyone to convince you that minors are entitled to total privacy. Keep it normal for you to check up on them as a part of your friendly nurturing process.
Third, return to living in the living room. Discipline electronics concerning how much access they have to your child. Please rediscover fishing, hiking and camping in the great outdoors. We live on the Gulf Coast; bloom where you are planted.
In summary: Be worth knowing and let your kids get to know you by keeping them close to you. Be as heroic as Marshal Dillon in eliminating slugs and thugs.
Facts correspondent Buddy Scott is director of His Love Counseling Services in Lake Jackson.
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